Entering into a relationship should be completed honestly – but there is one thing that many partners leave out of the agreement when entering a living situation, a relationship and even a marriage. This factor is the amount of debt that the partner is going to bring into the relationship.
Should you tell your partner about the debt that you are facing? Telling your partner about the debt should be a serious conversation, but it doesn’t have to end in a fight. It is important to convey the message that you are not asking your partner to cover the debt, you are simply telling him or her about it. You can tell your partner that you are indeed going to repay the debt on your own, while making your contributions to the household.
It should be in a calm environment that allows the two of you some privacy. After all, your partner may have questions that you could feel uncomfortable addressing in public. The best place to do it is at home where statements of accounts can be used to relay the message.
At the time that you tell your partner about the debt it is important to establish that a repayment plan has been established. Explain to your partner the measures that you are taking to repay the debt and how long you expect before the debt is repaid in full. Speaking about the debt calmly and in a positive manner and ensuring that you expect nothing from your partner in the way of financial support for the debt can help to ease the conversation.
What if your partner offers to help with the debt? It is up to you to decide if you would like to accept the help that is being offered from your partner. It is important to remember that many couples work together to rid themselves of debt and further their purchases and investments in their life together. What are you willing to invest in the relationship? Would you offer the same help to your partner if they were in your situation?
There are many benefits to telling your partner about the debt. Keeping a secret from your partner can be stressful as well as cause stress within the relationship as your partner can feel betrayed once the secret has been let out of the bag, so to say. The relationship will be better once all aspects are out in the open – and perhaps your partner has debt solutions that you hadn’t thought of that can help you save money as an individual, as well as a couple.
You may find this debt article useful: Should I tell my partner about my debts?